David. 21. Houston for now. Sour patch kids all day errday. Chronic procrastinator. Pack rat. Atychiphobic.

 

baesitter:

indianbiatch:

she was ABout to put a fukING BANDAGE ON It

yeah have u ever met a school nurse..

baesitter:

indianbiatch:

she was ABout to put a fukING BANDAGE ON It

yeah have u ever met a school nurse..

(Source: simpsonz)

owlgoggles20:


astutes:

A clock that writes the time.

This is so unnecessary I’ll take 20

owlgoggles20:

astutes:

A clock that writes the time.

This is so unnecessary I’ll take 20

(Source: astutes)

How I clean my room:

god-tiermeulin:

•start at one corner
•find something from 5 years ago and stare at it nostalgically for 10 hours
•go to bed

(Source: godtiermeowlin)

golgibodies:

texting someone new is always weird.

like how do they feel about all lowercase letters? do they think it looks dumb? do i have to use super proper grammar and punctuation? will they know im being sarcastic when i start abbreviating words? are they a haha or lol person? are they a strict no acronyms kind of person? how do they feel about pet names? what’s their stance on emojis? 

it’s terrifying 

mootiness:

firony:

bombprince:

melonlordn:

ieatgokudera:

EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT STUFF FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME

How eyeronic

get off my post

You don’t have to lash out

these puns are far too cornea